Tonight the desire to sleep is so great. Everything is heavy and dim, feels great. Goodnight world!
Despite having a quiet environment, the insides are in turmoil. I think I haven’t felt so aimless in a long time despite having so much to do.
The internal state of things and the external circumstances are totally incongruent. I’m not sure what to make of my current state of life.
This aimlessness is being overcompensated for in craving for base things like food and entertainment. The more I want to know and learn, the more it escapes me with each book and magazine I read.
Oh man. I’m in such a mess. Is anyone else experiencing a pre-midlife crisis? Haha…
And just like that, the sun has set on my weekend. I would have liked it to be quieter and have more time for myself. For what? I have no idea really. I don’t seem to be doing anything with the time but I would just like to have it.
“As you gave the ring to one another and have now received it a second time from the hand of the pastor, so love comes from you, but marriage from above, from God. As high as God is above man, so high are the sanctity, the rights, and the promise of love. It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love.”
– Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Letters and Papers from Prison, 27-28
Went for a ride this evening, about 40k. Wah never felt so sian before.. Not sure why either. Oh wells. Tomorrow is an action packed day at work! I feel a bit lost and don’t really want to do anything at the moment. Maybe I need a day or two off from work to just sleep and regroup.
Haha.. one of the favorite-est scenes from the favorite-est episode of Scrubs comes to mind tonight.
I guess I’ll be fine.