Watched a video about palliative care for children last night. One 18 year old dealing with relapsed cancer since 13 told his mom not to resuscitate him if anything happened because he felt like he had been through enough aggressive treatments and to let him go. She replied

“I’m not ready to let you go”

Who would be ready right?

They felt he wisely left it as that but prepared for the inevitable in his own quiet ways by getting them to help with tasks like disseminating gifts to his friends after he passed.

It raised some thoughts I’ve been having about picking up too much during our lives and not being able to let go when the time has come. Considering the end of things can bring the pain of the future into the present but it can help us live better, be less wasteful with our money, emotions and efforts.

While painful, perhaps that’s how we grow as people, picking up things with heavier and heavier consequences hoping they won’t crush us one day.

Side-Projects, Thoughts

Book: Avenue of Spies

Just finished this book a day or two ago. Reading biographies is interesting, especially of people in trying times. Random summary of thoughts

  • I didn’t know the germans basically waltzed into Paris in WWII
  • America didn’t join in WWII until pearl harbour
  • Sometimes taking decisive action early when things are starting to look bad is better than waiting till things are really bad
  • What goes around comes around
  • I found it interesting that the nazi soldiers being the ones in power still feared for their lives at night when alone due to the threat of an uprising or being killed by unhappy citizens or the resistance

When I talk to young people who seem destined for great success, I tell them to forget about charities and giving. Concentrate on your family and getting rich—which I found very hard work. I personally and the world at large are very glad you were more interested in computer software than the underprivileged when you were young. And don’t forget that those who don’t make money never become philanthropists.

Robert W. Wilson

Read this article here. What a perspective on life, money and purpose from 2 of the ultrarich. The context as follows:

Bill Gates and Robert W. Wilson, from an email exchange. Gates, who cofounded Microsoft in 1975, cochairs the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation with his wife; in 2006 Warren Buffett gave approximately $31 billion and became a trustee. Wilson founded his hedge fund Wilson & Associates in 1969, retired in 1986, and began giving away his fortune. His net worth peaked in 2000 at $800 million. In 2013 he leaped to his death from his Manhattan apartment, having given away $600 million. “One of the dumbest things you can do with money,” he told Forbes in 1979, “is spend it.”

Wow. What is life right?



I think I live in a perpetual state of “lost”. I know I’ve said before that the attitude and expectation towards it is really what changes but perhaps its a little bit too much this time. Need help managing my life!


I haven’t had much time to reflect. I suppose the evening before his resurrection was a thick one for the disciples being only 3 days after his crucifixion. Dark days.

During my drive today I thought about how God always initiated reconciliation before man. He first sought out Adam and Eve after they sinned. Then he sent Jesus to die, initiating redemption for all, past-present-future.

Who are we to do any less?